Holly Rae Research

An Instagram search of the tag “healing journey” might give you the impression that self-growth and healing is about climbing mountains, taking epic trips, publicly asserting yourself as beautiful and invulnerable, or getting your ideal gym body. I’m sorry to have to say that the “healing journey” and the self-growth mindset has become quite gimmicky on social media, which is why I have mostly stayed off those platforms. The healing journey is so much more than the forward –facing social media illusion spammed with gym selfies and pictures of people pretending to meditate in front of mountains. It is simply misleading for me or any other individual creating content about healing to pretend that getting your life together is A) that simple and B) a fun-filled adventure. It really just isn’t. If you’re having an absolute blast growing and healing yourself, you are certainly missing out on the deep reflection, trial and error, and inevitable mistakes that help you learn to about how to be at peace with yourself In other words, I have to say that a truly in-depth healing journey is not glamorous or Instagram worthy. Often times, the most essential moments my healing journey have been the littlest internal wins, like the expected smile that emerges on my face when I’m running boring errands or the genuine laugh that surprises me when I witness something entertaining after days of feeling blue. But the low points are important too—the time spent cleaning up a space that has been out of control with mess, cleaning out the fridge after I let all my vegetables rot because I’ve been surviving off snacks, and the moments where I admit to myself that I’m stuck and I need to try something different.

The reason I find it important to make the distinction between social media self-growth and what kind of growth  I want to support is because it is incredibly easy to become discouraged and feel inadequate when your expectations as to what your day-to-day when you are trying to cultivate growth come from disingenuous or at least misleading posts or videos. It is okay if right now, you aren’t “that” person who has it all together, gets up early and exercises for an hour, only eats the most pure foods, and gets all their tasks done without feeling any procrastination or discomfort at any point in the day.  

Don’t try to skip the struggle.

There are plenty of people who I am sure genuinely are “that” person who accomplish their whole list of daily rituals before 6 am, exercise every day, only eat good food, read daily, feel genuine peace and content, and accomplish all their tasks early so they can go to sleep at 10:00 every night. I am not discounting where these people are at in their lives now, but what is important to remember that that kind of life is the result of tremendous time and effort put into getting to that point. I know this because at many points in my life I have consistently been “that” girl who managed the above things and did really have my shit together for a while. But the important thing to note is that your “ideal” lifestyle and set of habits isn’t invulnerable to the whims of life and happenstance, and that is isn’t a destination that you just reach and stay at forever without needing to put in any sustaining effort.

The most regrettable choice you can make, really, when trying to better yourself is to give up, especially if you’re giving up because of how other people present their own journeys through life. Genuinely facing your past in order to deal with your present can be a bumpy road, and growth is not as clear cut and linear is it is often made to be. There will be moments in your self-development that are uncomfortable, and you may revert back to your “old” ways at times, but this is all part of the bigger, life-long process of being a better human for yourself and others.

The wins in your self-healing journey may or may not look trendy, but I can surely say that your healing will show through in the moments when you’re faced with something that would have previously caused you a lot of grief, but now is manageable.